It’s Not About the Sex

It’s Not About The Sex is a podcast based on the book by the same name. Psychotherapist Andrew Susskind examines issues such as shame, grief, narcissism, and codependency to demonstrate how people use out-of-control sexual behavior to cope with broken heartedness. Each podcast he interviews other therapists who work with clients dealing with addictive behaviors around troubled relationships.

In this podcast we welcome Dr. Goldenberg a psychiatrist and addiction specialist practicing in Santa Monica, California. We discuss the link between addiction and mental health issues, medication as a tool for addiction recovery as well as a user-friendly approach to relapse and pre-lapse.

Email:        Phone: 424.276.0777

Andrew leads you through a brief grounding exercise followed by a progressive muscle relaxation. This guided experience of eight (8) minutes offers you the virtual space to check in with your body, breathe into the moment and release stored tension.

Today’s podcast features Dr. Alexandra Katehakis who takes a closer look at healthy sex.  As the Clinical Director for the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles, she treats clients identifying with problematic sexual behaviors and also helps them develop honest conversations with a focus on such topics as sexual pleasure, monogamy and sexual fluidity.  Dr. Katehakis can be reached at or

Susskind and Merlino discuss the final chapter of his book entitled “It’s Not the Mistakes That Count.” They explore ways to move from self-attack and chronic shame to forgiveness and self-acceptance.  Listeners will consider how to effectively integrate forgiveness into their lives and their recovery.

Andrew interviews career and executive coach, Daisy Swan who brings almost thirty years of experience to her clients.  Based in Santa Barbara, she works with clients both locally and globally offering valuable tools and strategies toward greater work and life fulfillment. The nuts and bolts of career coaching are discussed along with an illustration of how it works within the context of recovery.

Andrew Susskind and Sue Merlino take a closer look at how the pandemic effects all of us and especially those in recovery. They discuss the current challenges and focus on ways to stay resilient, resourceful and regulated during this unprecedented moment in history. With an emphasis on connection and self-care, Andrew and Sue brainstorm tips for short-term and long-term adaptation.

Rhonda introduces us to a brand-new approach to provide timely support and practical
guidance to couples facing sexual betrayals. What makes her project unique is that it is
available for individuals who don’t have access to sexual addiction therapists, can’t
afford the time or money associated with therapy possibly leaving them alone to
navigate this process on their own. Rhonda has developed a Q & A forum and helpful resources that can be found at

Andrew Susskind and Sue Merlino explore the significance of finding purpose and meaning in long-term recovery. They discuss how spirituality can be defined as “whatever gives your life meaning” and take a look at legacy.

Andrew and Dr. Rob discuss his recent groundbreaking book, Prodependence. It is intended to improve the ways we treat loved ones of addicts and other troubled people, offering them more dignity for their suffering than blame for the problem.  Prodependence chooses to celebrate and value a caregiving loved one’s willingness to support and stay connected with an addicted family member, while promoting healing for the entire family.

Andrew Susskind and Sue Merlino discuss how codependency and blurry boundaries can hinder long-term recovery from out-of-control sexual behavior if not fully addressed and processed. They explore these sometimes misunderstood themes from a fresh, new perspective and offer practical strategies to fine-tune them.

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